Fundamentals of Classification
So yeah,
we’ve gone through the basic preliminaries. We’re ready to get into the more
important details without which choosing a girl would be pretty much
impossible. Well, before you fall in love with a girl head over heels, look
through the following characteristics which might aid you in categorizing them.
Sometimes,
they exhibit more than one characterisitic and are a hybrid. However, usually
they can rather simply be classified into the following buckets without ofcourse
being derogatory to them.
THE SISTAS:
These girls will eternally ask you for help and provided you find them
attractive, you might even decide to help them out. However, their intentions
are nobler than Sai Baba, and they will tie the rakhi on your hand with great
promiscuity. They will cling on to you like creepers and will make you wish that
you had watched the “Ek Thi Behen” video on Youtube before you met them. So,
whenever you identify one of these kind, my sincere advice to you would be to
RUN. Yes RUN away from them. They will never give you a chance and you unless
you are a universal brother/father figure, I’d kindly urge you to plant your
seeds elsewhere.
THE GIRLY
GIRLS: These are the girls who are basically girly in every way possible. They
will crib, they will cry, they will drib, yet not dry. More often than not,
pink is their favorite color, (I mean they have various shades of pink, however
color variation of pink is strictly out of scope of this document). They walk
real slow, take infinite time to do almost everything, usually don’t bother to
understand much of public life. They revel in baseless talk and usually incur
huge phone bills. However, don’t get me wrong, some of the most attractive
girls fall in this category. Their tremendously stupid behavior/accent/gait or
simply general low IQ will cast a spell on you, and the more stupid they are,
the more you end up liking them. (Not directly proportional to stupidity
though)
THE ONES OUT
OF YOUR LEAGUE: These are usually the most popular girls in your campus,
office, college, school or even neighborhood. They look very good, and they
know they look good. Arrogance flows in them, which in turn makes them feel
they’re out of your league. Very few girls fall in this bucket! Stay away from
these if you don’t look like Hrithik Roshan, these girls usually have very
picky!
BROTHERLY
GIRLS: There are certain girls who tag along with the usual term of “brotherhood”
and “fraternity” that you can almost tag them in the Bro-gang. They are usually few and well spread apart. Their only
contact is a gang of guys, and do not mix well with other girls. Usually weird
and when out of their gang, they feel like a fish out of the aquarium. Although
they might ocassionaly look good, they are socially awkward and usually have an
alternative universe in which they prefer to keep themselves. Hard-work and
effort is not required to win them usually, just get them back to their senses
and they’re yours.
ONES WHO
RESEMBLE GIRLS: This is one group about which the less I speak, the better.
These are the ones who are biologically girls. They are girls, because they
cannot be proven anything else but girls. They like guys and are very
passionate about life and people. Very few people actually go for them, and
although they are very decent and enjoyable, people still judge the book by it’s
cover. Usually found in Top Engineering Colleges in India and they have read
almost every book about love (Feels rather weird, doesn’t it?)
CREEPY
GIRLS: This is a very unusual category, and very rarely would a girl be termed
creepy. They have gone through several mishaps in their life, and they have
regressed from one of the other buckets to this. They are really sensitive and
poignant, so beware before you get involved with one of this sort. Usually you
won’t be able to understand this beforehand, but leave at the slightest hint.
They will ensure that you never leave them, or else you endure severe problems,
which may/may not including stalking.
So yea, that’s
about it from my side I guess in this chapter. Hope you people have as much fun
classifying yourselves/them in one of the happier buckets as much as I had the
pleasure in making them.
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